Writing this morning surely wasn’t on my list of things “to do,” but nonetheless, whenever I wake in the mornings, at times that other people would really consider to be “night,” I have the strange sense to write, to write out my thoughts, my feelings, and about God; He somehow always makes Himself present in my writings, maybe it’s because He’s my inspiration, the fire I feel deep down inside. I struggle with fully understanding how my life, currently with narcolepsy is to help me, to help others around me, but I know that I have to trust God in this time of my life. I always need to trust in God and that what He is doing in and through me is not for my glory, but instead it is to point to Him, the Author and Creator of me, my life, the universe and everything that has ever existed.
It’s strange to think that times when I wake, at what others would see as unreasonable hours in any given morning, I tend to find a peace with it; the early morning quietness, even with my thoughts running in different directions and all the while my body still feeling deprived of sleep.”
As my clock finally reads “6AM” I start to yawn, already having been up, out of bed since late 4 something this morning and was up even earlier, just tossing and turning, flipping from one side of my bed to the other, trying and hoping to just fall back asleep long enough to make it to a “reasonable” hour for waking. But we all know, those of us who don’t sleep that is, or who sleep so poorly, that we’re trying for the unreachable; the things in this life that are impossible. Impossible on our own that is; for
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is
impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26
Not understanding is so much easier to do sometimes. To throw your arms up in the air and want to give up, to give up on your situation or problem in life, to pretend it doesn’t exist or to even just ignore it. I’ve come to realize that in doing that we likely wonder away from God –from His purpose in our lives. We need to be reminded that God is always for us, He can never be against us, therefore, we need to remember to cling to what He’s told us,
"These have come so that your faith -- of greater
worth than gold, which perishes even though refined
by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise,
glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." -1 Peter 1:7
During times in our lives where we’re being faced with difficult situations and circumstances it’s sometimes hard to remember that those trails and times in our lives are to test our faith, to show that God is good all the time and all the time God is good. To know that God loves us and wants what is best for us seems straight forward and simple in itself to understand, but when we’re being faced with difficulties in our lives, it’s not. It’s during challenging times that we sometimes loose sight of God’s goodness toward us, that He wants what is absolutely best for us here in our lives.
It’s the same with my current situation, that even despite having narcolepsy, it is to be a constant reminder of that love He gives. Even when I wish I could simply sleep “normally,” or at times when my body so desperately longs to function with a level of energy that would sustain my body, to make it through a day fully awake, God is constantly reminding me that He’s good.
There will never be a day that you or, no matter your circumstance, will ever be so far gone that you are not worthy of God’s love and that even on your best of days, that you’re so good that you can earn His love and mercy. God has given us a gift, we have to be the ones to be willing to accept it. He won’t force His way into our lives, but know that He’s always working through our lives, pointing us to Him, the Creator, of things visible and invisible, all things were created by Him and for Him, to bring Him glory.
It’s my hope that through this you will see how good God is in your life, times may be hard and maybe you’re enduring more pain then you thought God would put you through, but remember that He chose you, out of all the people in the world, He chose YOU, to help others see that we can always trust in Him, even despite our challenges.