Now being 18 days into marriage with my husband, I would definitely agree with those who had told me before getting married that I would soon discover there a lot more differences between myself and Brad than I knew.
Some of the things I have witnessed are simply that our personalities are different and how opposite the two of us sometimes think from each other. My husband, for instance, when he’s about to brush his teeth squeezes the tooth paste from the middle of the tube, while I squeeze from the end of it. He likes the toilet paper roll to hang closer to the wall, while I prefer it to hang roll away from the wall. I like to keep part of our blankets between my legs at night, while he prefers to have the blankets lay over him flat.
Nonetheless, these are all just some of the quirky and silly little differences that each of us have. However, noting those differences(and knowing there will be more we will discover the longer we are together), it is safe to say that these are minor differences we have; it is nothing that cannot be worked through with a little bit of patience and kindness toward each other. And in the end, who knows, maybe one of us will luck out and help the other to find positive change to their lives by adapting to our so called, “better way of doing it”.
I can definitely assure you on one major point of marriage so far that it is very crucial to remain friends, to remember that when the day is done, you love each other. No matter if you and your spouse have disagreed about something in your day, it is not so far gone that the two of you cannot work it out.
"Be kind and
to one another,
other just as in
"Trust in the
LORD with all
you heart and
lean not on
in all your
him, and he
will make your
Give and forgive, respect and be respectful. The two of you may be different in a lot more areas of your lives than you had once realized, but it is not different enough that you cannot work with each other; remind each other of the love you have for him or her. It takes two to fight, to keep an argument going, but it also takes two to resolve problems, to voice your opinion gently, to forgive grievances and to work through times of conflict.
Just as Jesus told us this life here on earth would never be easy, but rather informed us it would be hard, that trials and tribulations would weigh on us, but through faith in Him it would make easier all the difficulties, so we also need to know that marriage is included in that. Even in my short amount of time, less than 3 weeks of being married I can tell that marriage takes work; you cannot expect marriage to always be “sunshine and roses.” However, you can expect marriage to be worth it despite all the differences that may lie between you and your spouse.
Give grace to each other, just as God has given even more grace than we could have ever imagined, when He allowed His one and only Son, Jesus, to die in our place. All we need to do is accept Him as our Lord and Savior, follow Him and trust in His ways. It is then that we can live our lives for Him. Do the same for your spouse, give them grace, even despite conflicts and differences; accept your spouse the way he or she is, don’t try and change things about them, try and change the way you see the differences between the two of you and always love them, no matter what.
Now lastly but certainly not least, I’ll leave you with this piece of advice, something that applies not only to a relationship with your spouse, but advice that is the key to any successful relationship, whether that be with a friend or family member, a co-worker or boss, it is this: always keep Jesus in the center of your relationships. When we have our eyes focused on Jesus, it is then that He helps us to be better equipped to love and serve others around us. And in time, though, we still look to our own needs our priorities have changed. Changing your priorities to point to Jesus 1st, Others 2nd and Yourself 3rd, allows for you better love and serve people around you who you share relationships with; it allows more J.O.Y. to be in your heart (Jesus Others Yourself).
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." -Proverbs 15:1